Baby Shower Etiquette: When Do You Have a Baby Shower and More

Whether you’re the parent-to-be or the host, you might be wondering about baby shower etiquette. Here’s a simple guide to help answer your questions, such as who hosts a baby shower, when should you have a baby shower, when to send out invitations, who to invite, and more.

Who Throws the Baby Shower?

First things first: who hosts a baby shower? Traditionally, baby showers were hosted by close female friends or not-so-immediate female relatives (like aunts or cousins) of the mom-to-be. But times have changed, and now it's considered acceptable for just about anyone to host this celebration. Many parents-to-be might even be honored with more than one shower, hosted by friends, family, or even coworkers.

Generally speaking, however, the parent-to-be doesn’t throw a baby shower for themself. The point of these fun events is for the parent-to-be to sit back and allow themself to be celebrated, not to worry about refreshments and invitations. Keep in mind that if no one steps up to host the party (and we doubt this will happen!), it's fine for the guest of honor to ask someone close to them to plan a small shower.

Even though the parent-to-be is not the host, they’re still involved in some planning, like helping put together the guest list and creating the gift registry.

Who to Invite to a Baby Shower

Who should be invited to a baby shower is pretty simple. If you're the host, consult closely with the parent-to-be about which close friends and family members they would like on the guest list. You don't want to miss someone who is important to them. At the same time, you should be honest with the parent-to-be about the budget and venue limitations. It may be tempting (not to mention easy) to include everyone on the parent-to-be’s social media friends list, but you’ll probably need to limit the guest list to their nearest and dearest. What about dads and other male guests? Traditional showers were strictly ladies only, but again, times have changed. Discuss with the parent-to-be and plan the guest list accordingly. Some dads even have their own “baby shower,” commonly known as a diaper party. Whether or not you include dads and guys, the key is to agree on the guest list with the guest of honor well in advance to make sure everyone important to them has a chance to attend.

Can a Mom Throw a Baby Shower for Her Daughter?

Immediate family members traditionally didn’t host baby showers, but nowadays anyone can host the shower for the parent-to-be. So if the grandma-to-be wants to host, she can.

How Long Are Baby Showers?

The length of a baby shower can be flexible. Just remember that the parent-to-be might be tired, so you don't want to make the party too long. At the same time, you want to ensure that everyone has enough time to enjoy the celebration and spend time with the guest of honor. So, aiming for a baby shower lasting three to four hours should work well, with about half an hour at the beginning and end for guests to arrive and leave.

When Do People Have Baby Showers?

Usually, people have baby showers when the pregnancy is in the later stages, often around four to six weeks before the due date. But it’s a good idea to check with the expectant family first and see what suits them. This timeframe is usually close enough to the baby’s arrival, but not so close that you’ll have a surprise visitor at the shower. Some people also prefer to have a baby shower after the arrival of the little one. In this case, the baby can join and it can double as a meet-the-baby party.

Who Pays for a Baby Shower?

Now let’s get into the common questions, who pays for the baby shower, and does the mom or parent-to-be pay for the baby shower? Generally, the host (or hosts) pays for the baby shower. However, it’s also common for some guests to get together and cover the costs between them. As the host, you should consider your budget and what you’re comfortable with. You could consider asking other guests if they’d be happy to chip in.

When to Send Out Baby Shower Invites?

It’s best to send baby shower invitations about four to six weeks before the event so guests can save the date, and so out-of-town guests can make travel plans. As people start to RSVP, keep a list of who’s coming. Before sending out invitations, you’ll need to gather each guest's full name and contact information (email address, postal address, phone number, social media, etc.) depending on the type of invitation you’re sending. Don’t forget to include who the shower is for, who is hosting, the date and time, the location, details of a gift registry or gift suggestions, and RSVP contact details.

What Do You Do At a Baby Shower?

What happens at a baby shower can be completely up to the host and the parent-to-be. It may depend on the individual preferences and personality of the guest of honor. However, one thing is for sure, at a baby shower, guests gather to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a new baby and offer support and gifts to the parents-to-be. Baby showers can feature a variety of fun activities and traditions. Here are some typical elements:

• Games and activities. Classic baby shower games might include guessing the baby’s due date, baby trivia, or creating baby-themed crafts. Interactive games are a great way to get everyone involved and create a lively atmosphere.

• Gift giving. Guests usually bring gifts for the baby and parents. This could range from practical items like diapers and clothes to sentimental keepsakes. A gift-opening session may be a highlight of the event.

• Food and drinks. What’s a party without food and drink! The menu can vary from light snacks and finger foods to a full meal, depending on the size and formality of the shower. A baby shower cake or cupcakes with a baby theme is often a centerpiece.

• Socializing and sharing advice. The shower provides a chance for guests to offer their advice and share their own pregnancy and parenting experiences. It’s also an opportunity for everyone to catch up and enjoy each other’s company in a relaxed setting.

Overall, a baby shower is about celebrating the joy of a new addition to the family, creating lasting memories, and showing support for the parents-to-be.

What to Bring to a Baby Shower?

When attending a baby shower, it’s common to bring a gift for the parents-to-be. Here’s a quick guide on what to consider:

• Registry gifts. Do you bring registry gifts to a baby shower? If the parents have a gift registry, it’s a good idea to choose something from it. Registries help ensure that the parents receive items they need or want. It’s also helpful for avoiding duplicate gifts.

• Practical items. Gifts like diapers, wipes, baby clothes, or onesies are always appreciated. These essentials are used frequently and are often in high demand.

• Sentimental gifts. Personalized items, such as a custom blanket or a keepsake book, can be meaningful and cherished.

• Group gifts. If you’re part of a larger group, pooling together for a bigger gift or a gift card can be a great option.

• Non-gift contributions. Sometimes, hosts appreciate contributions in other forms, like offering to help with decorations, food, or organizing games.

Always check with the host if you’re unsure about the gift policy or if there are any specific requests or themes for the shower. Here are some great gift ideas for the new baby.

Do You Have to Open Gifts at a Baby Shower?

The tradition of opening gifts during a baby shower used to be a main activity. Guests would watch as the guest of honor opened each gift. However, nowadays, some people prefer not to open gifts at their baby shower, and that's completely fine. It's totally up to the parent-to-be's preferences. It may also depend on the number of guests. If there are many guests, the gift-opening session could take a significant amount of time. It can also depend on the type of gifts requested by the parents-to-be. For example, if they have opted for a Pampers Diaper Stash, guests may contribute to an online fund instead. In this case, the gift-opening activity may involve presenting the parents-to-be with the gift stash. So, if you’re the host, it’s best to ask the parent-to-be if they’d like to include gift opening at their baby shower. They may also be happy incorporating it into a game, such as Baby Shower Bingo.

The Bottom Line

Whether you’re hosting a baby shower or you’re the parent-to-be, we hope these baby shower etiquette tips were helpful to guide you on your journey. For more information on how to plan a baby shower and choose a theme, check out our fun articles, including baby shower themes for girls and themes for boys. And before the new bundle of joy arrives, get ahead of the game by downloading the Pampers Club app for rewards on all your future diaper purchases.